I wonder if there ever comes a point in your IF journey that you stop playing the "what if" game. You know the one- "well, I don't know if I should get involved in that... what if I get pregnant? I don't know if we will be able to come on a trip. What if I get pregnant? What if next Christmas we are pregnant? Next New Years? Easter? Summer?"
I think there are good and bad things things about this game. On one hand I think it means you are still hopeful. You still see a pregnancy in your future. You still get caught up in that daydream where you finally get to share with your family that you are expecting twins!
The what if game can also hold you back. There have been several opportunities where I almost missed out on something because I considered saying no, just in case I was pregnant. IF really can take over your life. I don't think a day goes by that it doesn't cross your mind. I made a decision early on in this journey however, that IF would not let me stop living. I encourage you to spend some time thinking about this. Are you so caught up in thinking about how wonderful life will be when you have a child that you are missing out on life right now??
Three Greatest Items I Brought on My Trip
4 hours ago
Thanks for stopping by my blog today. I totally agree with this post, I often feel the same way. I am currently contemplating the trip I want to take once my yet-to-be-conceived first baby is old enough to stay with grandma and grandpa. Lame, huh? But in any case I have to save up the money first so hopefully by then I will either have a handle on the baby thing or enough time will have passed that I will just plan it and go with the flow!
ReplyDelete~ICLW~
It's so true. IF can easily take control if you let it. I feel like sometimes I hold onto the dream so much that I lose touch on reality. I try my hardest to give my what ifs to God each day and focus on the now!! LOVE this post!!
ReplyDelete~Jess
ICLW
Good post. Like you, I made the decision a long time ago to continue living life despite the uncertainty of IF. Over 18 months into TTC, I'm glad I did: there are so many things I would've missed out on if I'd put them off.
ReplyDeleteICLW
This is one of the hardest parts for me. I try not to let IF and ttc take over my life... but when it's big things, like contemplating a job change or spending a lot of money on a vacation... I feel really torn about what to do.
ReplyDeleteSo many frustrating layers. :(
ICLW
No, it never ends, but it can change. For me it's now: 'But what if we're matched with an expectant mom who's due then..?'
ReplyDeleteOne IF-er that I met online, early in my ttc journey, talked about how she got sick of living her life in two week increments. Two weeks to O (ideally) and two weeks to test, repeat, over and over adnauseum. At first I attributed it to bitterness over having to wait so long, but after my first m/c I began to understand. Living life is the priority...
ReplyDeleteExcellent thought and question to ask ourselves. All of the what ifs can so easily take over and keep me from accomplishing anything. I have to make a conscious effort to keep living my life in the meantime!
ReplyDeleteI'll be the first to admit that I play this game with myself a lot! I do it a lot with holidays. "Maybe next Christmas, we'll have a 'Baby's First Christmas' ornament on the tree?" You know the game. I do have to make myself stop doing that, because it causes my mind to spiral downward, and that's not good. Thanks so much for talking about this! Enjoy your vacation!
ReplyDelete