I decided that each time I get news that someone close to me is pregnant, I get as many days as years we've been trying to be angry and bitter and negative, and then I need to move on. So far it has worked pretty well for me. I think angry, sarcastic thoughts, and tell God about the overwhelming unfairness of it all repeatedly, and cry. I call it the Dark Place. So far it has only taken me a day or two before I am ready to move on. And I don't think that's a bad thing. It's important for us to acknowledge our feelings. David told God all the time exactly how he was feeling, and God called him a man after His own heart (and is it just me, or was that guy a little bipolar!?)
But I think it's equally important to move on. Let it go, take a deep breath, and keep on trucking. That doesn't mean there aren't still moments of bitterness and tears. But I am blessed. And there is hope. So I let myself dream, just a little, of what we might name our baby. And if we will have a boy or a girl. And what color I will paint the baby room. And at some point, I will take a deep breath, pick up the phone, and call my sister to ask her how she is feeling. One day at a time though.
Why We Do the Things We Do
1 day ago
I loved this post. So true about David :) I too like to dream. I'm a huge winnie the pooh fan and have said for many years that I want to have a hundred acre woods baby room. I think the dreaming at times is the only thing that keeps me going.
ReplyDeleteI know what you mean about the "dark place" - on both sides of us our neighbours have a newborn - within 2 weeks of each other. And 2 lots of our best friends are expecting too, and we strongly suspect a third!
ReplyDeleteAfter a while it isn't worth getting too bitter because it simply screws you up.
I also totally agree with what you say about David. He got angry and honest with God regularly - as did Job for that matter.
Take care
So true. It's okay to be angry and let it out, but it's definitely a good thing to move on afterwards and try not to let the bitterness set up camp.
ReplyDeleteDavid is a great example. God knows we're angry, so we may as well tell Him about it!
Praying for you as you get through the Christmas season along with all the family pregnancies. One day at a time!
Thatta girl. :) I have a "48-hour" rule myself. I give myself 48 hours to be upset, cry, yell, etc. Then I pick myself up. It's worked great so far. :)
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